Honey if you love me

4 stars

Everyone sits in a circle on chairs, and someone starts the game in the middle of the circle. 

They pick someone (generally of the opposite gender), sit on their knee and say to them "Honey, if you love me, give me a smile!". 

The person has to say (with a straight face and without smiling) "Honey, you know I love you but I just can't smile!"

If the person smiles, they become the person in the middle of the circle, if not, the person continues until they get someone to smile!

  • Free / Low Cost
  • No equipment needed
  • Night
  • Ice breaker
  • Indoor
  • Large area
  • Small area

    Group Size
    • Small Groups (1-9 people)
    • Medium (10-29 people)
    • Large groups (30+)

    • Medium (11-29 mins)
    • Short (1-10 minutes)
    Submit your vote:



    when i played that game the whole class loved it,it was so funny
    - (22 Feb 2009)

    I don't think this is appropriate for Christian teenagers. It deliberately puts them in situations where they will face temptation
    - Mary (29 Jun 2009)

    I played it with my girlscout troop and some elementary aged girls and we had so much fun. Some of my friends got into the game and got everyone cracking up. This game is great!!!!!!!
    - Grace (5 Jul 2009)

    Oh I LOVE this game!!
    I played it at camp, except when I played it we called the game Chicky Wicky I think, so when they ask you the question they say "Will you please be my Chicky Wicky?" or something like that, the other person says "No, I will not be your Chicky Wicky." with a straight face.

    Super fun!!!!
    - Olivia (5 Jul 2009)

    I played this game when I was in jr high and high school more than 20 years ago. My feeling about it is that it is embarrassing to kids who don't want to play - and can make game time full of anxiety for them. I don't play it in my youth program at all because it brings me back to my awkward youth when I had to play it.
    - Beth (6 Jul 2009)

    this game is wonderful especially for the pre-adolescents who have quite weired minds. It gets them laughing throughtout the group session.

    Super fine game
    - Olga (15 Oct 2009)

    This is a great game to use as an ice breaker. I use it with my youth group all the time. However, it is definitely one of those games that has to be used with restrictions and a little wisdom. Things like "no physical contact" and "don't approach the same person twice"--are musts. If used properly it just makes everybody laugh.

    One suggestion, however, you probably don't want to let this game run more than 15mins.
    - Bobby (18 Oct 2009)

    I play this game with my 5th and 6th grade class and they love it. I would recommend playing this game without the sitting on the lap thing though.
    - TheDan (1 Dec 2009)

    - (13 Jan 2010)

    I loved this game when I played it as a teenager (and, yes, I was a very awkward kid). It was all in good fun and everyone knew it. I'm glad this website reminded me of it!
    - Leah (23 Jan 2010)

    My youth group loves this game! It is super fun! Very few can do it without laughing.
    - Julie (9 Feb 2010)

    As with any game, it is always necessary to assess your particular groups maturity level before playing. However, in reference to this game being inappropriate for "christians" I must point out that temptations WILL happen in our kids lives and what better place than the safe environment of your youth group to teach them about temptation, point out how easy it is to fall into, and discuss how God calls us to act & what tools He gives us to resist.
    My group of youth have a really hard time grasping ideas without some kind of physical interaction to connect the idea to. This game will be perfect to introduce Jesus' temptation & I am very excited to play.
    - TW (15 Feb 2010)

    great game. legalists will not like this game - note mary (29 July 2009)
    - adam (23 Mar 2010)

    yeah I loved this we also played spin the bottle and made out in the cupboard
    - adwi (31 Mar 2010)

    Why would you who call yourselves Christians have teen whose hormones are raging, be placed into temptation. This game is unbiblical and not something the Lord Jesus Christ would approve of. This is just another case of the church trying to be relevent to the world.
    - Rlh (3 Jun 2010)

    Yes, I agree with Rlh -- how dare the church try to be relevant to the world! Everyone knows Christians are irrelevant (see Mary 29 July 2009 and Rlh 3 June 2010) for proof.
    - Agreed (4 Jun 2010)

    Where's the temptation? it's a game, the kids know it's a game. there's no sinning or going against God's will involved in the game so therefore I would have to disagree as to it being something the Lord wouldn't approve of. sure, it may put the kids in an awkward situation but dont all icebreakers do that? it's "something intended to relieve mutual shyness at a gathering of strangers". would you rather the kids sit there in silence because they don't want to say something that they think might sound stupid?
    - Brad (19 Jun 2010)

    I disagree with Mary. This is a great ice breaker.
    - Jessica (30 Jun 2010)

    just for the record...how would you feel if your wife sat in lap and called me honey. There is a line that shouldn't be crossed. And sitting in a lap...or "on a nee" is wrong how you look at it. I was shocked it even said that. Youth leaders life a life and run a ministry thats above repraoch!...i wouldn't let my kid go there...
    - random.... (15 Jul 2010)

    WEll it sounds funny but it kind of sounds kind of pushy and maybe a kid likes somone and choses them and then a temptation comes along!! I'ts not very,very appropriate!! PERIOD.
    - Unknown (29 Jul 2010)

    Ok FIRST of all the description is not accurate. The person doesn't sit on someone else's knee...they get down on their own knee. Second for all of you that are complaining this put's the youth in a compromising position and provides temptation...get off your high horse please! I played this game as a youth and now play this game with my students. As a youth I had the most AMAZING leader who lived a life above reproach and did not let us participate in anything that would dishonor God. Of course you need to set the boundaries and make sure YOU don't allow your students to cross the line. If you can't control your own group then yes don't play but otherwise let it go!!!
    - Fearfullly and Wonderfully Made (24 Aug 2010)

    Just played this game tonight, it was awesome! :D
    - LegoYouth (17 Sep 2010)

    I agree with Fearfully and Wonderfully made. This is a great game that's fun and simple. No confusing rules. I agree that they shouldn't SIT on the other person's knee, but there's nothing wrong with getting on one knee. Let's try not to be so critical. This is why so many teens steer clear of the church. Legalism. Jesus never preached that. The pharisees did.
    - Travis (22 Sep 2010)

    Me and my friends used to play a veriation of this. Two people would stand 15 paces apart and one would say "Honey, if you love me will you give me a smile?" and the other reply's "Honey I love you, but I just can't smile" they would then take one step closer and would start again. When you get good at it you often get so close you cant go any further then you're both declared winners. However, if someone laughs they're out and the person remaining choses the next player.
    - Nicole Shinn (3 Oct 2010)

    Chill out guys! Its just a game... and you don't necessarily HAVE to play the game in a christian camp.
    - CHILLOUT (5 Oct 2010)

    ok let me start out by sayin awesome game.. all the pwople saying that gettin on one knee or sittin on the person is rong yea thats true but doesnt mean we cant and shudnt play it the way my group plays it is no contact but u can get in any position like come up behind them or next 2 them and then ask but if contact is made then ur done and u have 2 try again all in all a amazing game
    - amazing (18 Oct 2010)

    Used to love this game, but haven't played it for years. And as always, how the game is played depends on how leaders set up the parameters.
    - Benjer McVeigh (14 Nov 2010)

    I played this game at youth club. It was a laugh, and I had fun with it. Some of my friends felt a bit awkward, though. Ours is a christain youth club, and we didn't sit in eaach others laps. we just went over to someone and said `if you love me, gimme a smile` and then the person tried not to smile and said. `yes, of course i love you but i just cannot smile.` It was supervised by the leaders (who are very responsible) and overall we enjoyed it and had a laugh with it. we played it on valentines night, as well, which made it a bit more relevant. there should defenitely be boundaries while playing this game, thjough. someone kissed this guy on the cheek, trying to make him smile, and the poor guy looked like he just wanted to die there and then. its a fun game if played with boundaries and restrictions.
    - Beckie (14 Feb 2011)

    I agree with Beckie above. Sitting on a knee or lap wouldn't be appropriate but the game can be easily adapted based on your own group's age level. I also like Nicole's version moving a step closer each time. Sounds like our Jr Highers would get the giggles on this one.
    - ivb (28 Feb 2011)

    Just offering another perspective on behalf of our introverted teens: I know this seems a popular game but as a shy teenager I dreaded it and couldn't wait til it was over! I think it would've been easier if the person doing the asking was just kneeling and not right in my space sitting on my lap with peers looking and laughing. Much of the laughing may be in embarrassment not genuine enjoyment. Youth Leaders tend to be outgoing personality types and need to consider the personalities of the whole group. Thats my 2 cents.
    - Marson (7 Mar 2011)

    Just have them stand in a circle, and say somthing otehr than 'honey I love you.' It is a great base for a game, if you want to use it in church just change a few things and adapt it to christian youth. I will try it tonight and will have the kids stand in a circle. The person must walk up to another kid and then say somthing. No one will be 'tempted' to do anything by sitting on laps.
    - Chelsey (22 Jun 2011)

    Are we deliberately placing our youth in positions that " cause temptation"? This is very puzzling. Youth will inevitably reason that it is ok to "sit on someone's lap" because "they do it at youth group" and will practice this (and go even further) in real life.
    This being "JUST a game", doesnt cut it. We as youth leaders need to be "uptight", because the world's agents are not uptight in engaging the youth in worldly activities. We need to set the standards high, and allow our youth to see that there is a difference between the Church, and the world with regards to behaviour and interaction. Are we advocating tempting behaviour for "just a game"? Just for the emotional satisfaction of a few seconds? It seems to me that we, as youth leaders, need to be a bit more innovative in our methods, while attempting to get our messages across.
    - Rey (24 Feb 2012)

    Um...I am 16 and I don't even think that is funny.
    If they really are followers of Christ and are Christians; they come to church/youth group to be with other believers and strengthen each other in our daily spiritual battle we all fight against Satan.
    Something is wrong here. In kindergarten at church we go to Sunday school and learn the true stories from the old Testament. Then when kids become teenagers people think "Oh well, we can't make them do anything." "Kids will be Kids." "All teens want is to have fun."....So they send us, during the years that are most influential to our lives in which we are making habits and the character that we will keep for the rest of our lives, to youth group in which all that is done there is video games, band/concert like "worship," foolish jokes and then maybe a short little sermon in which the Youth Minister apologizes many times because he doesn't mean to speak so boldly, also know as telling the truth.
    All I'm trying to say is that "Honey if you love me" is a games that promotes more foolish and godless behavior. "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness rather expose them" also "Avoid godless chatter for those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly" 2 Tim. 2:16
    - (19 Jun 2012)

    I would hate to be in some of the youth group's that get so bent out of shape over a game. Tweak the rules to eliminate physical contact... That being said it's not wonder so many churches aren't reaching this generation. Let's try to be more like Jesus and less like Caiaphas.
    - Will Cofield (29 Aug 2012)

    I'm guessing that most of you have never been to Young Life. LIGHTEN UP! Tweak the rule. Jesus had a sense of humor, for crying out loud.
    - britton wesson (19 Sep 2012)

    Great game and a lot of fun. Our group played with student and leaders alike and it was a blast. Like others have mentioned, there is some miss-information as to how to play, but you can certainly make the rules anything you want them to be so that it is appropriate for your age-group and maturity level. If, however, your leadership or youth look at everything through sexual lenses, perhaps there are better games. But for those who do not make everything about sex and/or have mature youth who do not make it into a sexual come-on, this game is a great icebreaker. Even our most quiet and reserved youth got into it and had fun. For us, our youth thrive on the leader-youth interaction with our games, and this game was no exception and made it all the more fun.
    - Michael (31 Oct 2012)

    We played this when I was in youth and I recently played it on a youth camp. Nothing wrong with it, I think it can bring a group together great. It can be awkward at first but can be really funny as well. If you have the right bunch of teens it is not a hassle at all. I have seen nothing wrong in this game.
    - Roars (14 May 2013)

    Awesome game! My youth group's gonna love it!!! Thanks.
    - Aby (31 May 2013)

    I love this game! It's a great one to play with youth groups and camps!
    - Abe (5 Aug 2013)

    I think my discomfort with this game is that girls and women are often pressured to "gimme a smile" or "gimme a hug" even when they don't feel like it. The "chicky wicky" variation sounds less likely to venture into uncomfortable territory of boys pressuring girls to do something they don't want to do. We shouldn't be teaching boys coercion is "just a game".
    - jane (29 Jan 2015)

    As a young person and someone who's training to be a youth leader and a follower of God, I see no harm in this game; I have played it multiple times and half the time girls pick girls to say it to and boys pick boys as its a harder task not to smile this way and there have never been any feelings of temptation or awkwardness as those who feel uncomfortable with the game do not have to participate as we only play for five minutes at the most if our activities finish earlier than planned, all this argumentative and hostile attitude makes me feel intimidated to be a part of the Christian community and its hard for people to want to join because the hostility of older people is all they can see its discouraging and heart breaking to see that young people feel scared to show that they love god because the adults think we are not following 'properly' love worship and discipleship are about following in gods word and gods ways and if playing this game makes you think we arent doing this then you have had your head in the clouds for far too long
    - charlotte (19 Mar 2015)

    Well, I think that this game is perfectly fine. I am LDS (Mormon) and my parents and my parents friends are fine with this game. Even though we allow physical contact, (only face, hands, and feet) it is still not temptation. It is a game for heaven sakes!! Get over it!! There is nothing wrong with playing a game, that's just why you have an older adult there with the group of kids/teens so that nothing bad happens in the game. So stop hating on the game and get over it already. It's not like they are doing anything bad, they are just trying to break the ice and be their own goofy selves. Everything is fine. I have also played this game many times, with physical contact, and trust me, there is NO temptation whatsoever, so your kids should be fine. And anyone who feels awkward or doesn't feel like they should be playing this game, you can just sit out..it really is THAT simple. SO please stop hating on this game. This game is clean!!!
    - Taylor (17 May 2016)

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